What’s the go with Pinot?

Pinot Noir is the new black.

It seems that it doesnt matter who you speak to or what you read in the world of wine at the moment, any self-respecting lover of wine is obliged to declare their love for it. Just as with artlovers with post-modernism or literature students with Kafka, or music lovers with jazz, while not being easily likeable, it is considered to show a sign of an advanced winelovers palate to set it as the benchmark.

Do you have a Pinot? Oh, you should have the Pinot! Oh I only drink Pinot. Im a self confessed pinot nut!

To be upfront: I enjoy Pinot Noirs, they are ok. However, the amount of hoopla and aura surrounding that one grape variety is way over the top.

But why is it so popular? So much speaks against Pinot Noir:

a) Its flavours can be subtle to boring. As a wine it ranges from tasting like light raspberry cordial to shiraz-like to downright disgusting. Most that us mortals will get to try will be light to medium bodied, cherry and raspberry with perhaps a little hint of the typical pinot forest floor spice. Maybe nice to smell, but you will be wondering where all the flavour is for the money you just forked out.

b) they are generally without doubt way overpriced with wines of similar quality levels from other grape varieties a fraction of the price. A ‘good value’ pinot is a contradiction in terms. I guess in this respect it is very much a luxury product, just like a swiss watch and designer shoes. This is where the rich come into play whereby the fat price tag actually gives the appeal.

c) the very good ones are few and far between and always very very vintage dependent, so you can waste quite a lot of money wading through the rubbish. In a recent trip to Burgundy (the French home/mecca or Pinot Noit grape) I noted that a lot of producers would just continue to sell their (very ordinary) wines from the troubled 2008 vintage at normal price, and despite the fact people even had the opportunity to taste these insipid watery battery acid off-juice concoctions….they would pay up over 50 Euros a bottle to have it.

d) It is a hassle to grow in all aspects of grape growing: even if you are to find that perfect limestone sub-soil and and the perfect cool climate area and the one or combination of the perfect clone of the variety for that area and soil (it mutates a lot and has over 50 different genetic clones which all produce different results), it has an amazing attraction to picking up disease at the slightest bump in weather. Very thin skins mean the grapes are a little like that person you know who seems to permanently be at the doctors with allergies or colds or whatever is going around. 

Needless to say, you have to be committed to want to grow it.

e) Terroir: the French think they have a monopoly on this grape variety because “the best can only come from the Terroir, not the grape“ Yes, the best in the world do come from Burgundy (for the time being) but you sure would hope they would have it sussed after already being allowed a thousand year head start in cultivating the variety. Yes some blocks of grapes are better than others in every vineyard around the world, but you cannot tell me you can justify the disparity of sometimes a few €100 for the wines made by grapes a few rows apart.

They forget to mention that grapes “A” are also treated quite differently to grapes “B” in the cellar because it is already sure that grapes “A” will fetch a higher price on the market,,,a nice little self fulfilling prophecy. For some reason the French producers also seem to think that having the word “Terroir” in French means that these effects of location/climate/soil etc only apply to France. How convenient.

f) The annoying loser from “sideways” likes it. Nuff said.

The thing is that these drawbacks tend to be the exact reasons people love it.

To the above issue they would answer

a) “it is a flavour enigma and only you just dont undertand it. It is all about that wonderful perfume and subtle nuances of individual flavour, pure elegance. You just dont understand” Yes we do. You are a wank.

b) “well there is a price for the best, and you know small the quantities are of this wine” Yes, and then there is a price for idiots.Its called overpriced. Quantity/price is valid up to a point, but anything over $50 and you are buying art.

c) “but that just adds to the joy of the chase or quest for that elusive good one, which is what wine is all about” Can you imagine going to a restaurant, being given ordinary food and being overcharged and then still going back to the same place every week and recommending friends because you once had good food there. No, you wouldnt. That would be irrational.

d) “that explains the prices, it is just so difficult to grow” A ‘domaine de la romanee conti’ pinot bought in the early 80s would have cost less than $200. These days it fetches several thousand. Now, that is not inflation and I’m sure it wasnt easier to grow back then than now.

e) “oh you can really pick up the terroir on this”, no, you are generally picking up the smell of Brettanomyces, a spoilage from poor cellar hygiene.

f) ” oh I loved that movie” ummm, yes.

 

To sum up: I think the idea and the aura attached to being part of a secret advanced wine nerd club far outways the actual enjoyment of Pinot Noir itself.

If you do get the chance to try a good one, one that blows your pants off with its peacocks tail perfume, just savour it and take it in. You will probably have wasted a lot of money for that moment.